Indecision

I’ve never been a stay at home mom.  I will say unequivocally that it is as hard as being a working mom, maybe harder.  When I was working, I had an identity, an income (not really, it all went to daycare but I did get some money going to SS), other people to talk to, something meaningful to do and just as importantly a second and third set of minds and eyes helping me problems solve issues with the boys.

My eldest starts school this fall and that means it will be just me and the little boy.  He’s so sweet but extremely energetic and I think misses the structure of daycare, not to mention the other children to play with.   But he’s also enjoying Mom time.

My problem is I’m not sure I will enjoy Mom time.  I’ve never done it.   But I don’t have a job lined up, not sure I will be able to get one and I’m waffling back and forth between take the year off and enjoy it and you should be doing something.

I put in an application today for a job I would be perfect for.  But it would require me to drive 20-30 minutes each way.  It would put significant time pressure on myself and the boys int he morning.  It could limit the activities we do together during the week especially with Daddy Frog traveling so much.

I don’t know what the right thing to do is.  I hate indecision.

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2 responses to “Indecision

  1. In my ideal world, I would have enough time to have an enjoyable and fulfilling work life because adult interaction and thinking is probably good along with enough time to spend at home with my children and enjoy them fully, TOO. Without going nuts with boredom. Unfortunately, the way life is, most of us end up having to choose, or try all of them to suck at all of them just a bit, too.

    It’s not an easy decision.

    G

  2. Thanks, G. I know. I have another position courting me and while it would be good for me, it would be a sanity buster at home and really destroy the flexibility I wanted with my son starting Kindergarten. The worst part is that this year the odds of there being any extra money after paying for daycare, before/after school care and gas is pretty low.

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